Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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