I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize