Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
