those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I want to fling myself into the sun
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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