i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
