omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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