Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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