Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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