I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
