So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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