I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She's the barista slut.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
