help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
