Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
