plz talk dirty to me
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
