There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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