I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
