I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
