thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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