The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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