He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
