Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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