that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
