he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
