if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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