well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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