They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
