worst night to have a conscience
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
