I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
