I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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