I must be too annoying 4 u.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
