I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Well I just put wine in my tea
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
