That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
