well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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