love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
