My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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