At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
