Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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