you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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