it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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