I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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