I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
