i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize