she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
