I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
