the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
