it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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