Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
