i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he thought i was a dude.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
