FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
