I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
