oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
