Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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