How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
