So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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