okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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