it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
