where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
