Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
