Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
This is the high leading the old right now
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
