I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
